Family...

Some of the sms-es that I received during the new year actually brought tears to my eyes. Strangely enough it was not from close friends or family... well at least not family as in your flesh and blood. These sms-es came from my adopted family. The family that worked with me for many years before I left for this dead place that I am in right now. And what was it about people telling me that family is more important? Well, as you can see from here... that isn't always true.

I miss you guys too. And more than any of you. It hurts to hear what's happening there. Yeah, I have moved on but you have to realise that I was the longest serving employee in that department when I left. And not only that... everything that is in place was somehow part of my work as I built it from scratch with the many, many team members that came and went over the years. So, naturally the way I ran that place was different as I had ownership and when you hear of how things are being done to what you built, it just tears you apart. Anyway, that's life.

Well, like I told some of you... our paths will one day cross again and maybe we can and will re-live history and if we're lucky it may even be better with all our acquired knowledge and wisdom.

God bless all of you...

Happy New Year???

Or not?

What's so happy about the new year?

While most people are ushering the new year with new resolutions and what-not, I am trying to achieve closure to a big chunk of my life. It's not easy especially when it involves emotions.

My phone practically went berserk last night with all the wishes coming in from as early as 7:00 pm. I tried to keep up by answering as and when it came in but by early 2008, I gave up and decided that I would only continue the rest today. To all those who sent me sms-es... thank you for remembering this botak. I hope your new year will be good. I know that mine won't be as I have embarked on a long, tedious and lonely journey... one that will put me 'under fire'...

So, happy new year to everyone... we'll just have to see what this year has in store for me...

And if you wanna know what my new year resolution is, it is to live through this year... and at the end of this year my new year resolution will be to live through next year and so on and on...

The Experts?

Yes, there will always be self-proclaimed experts out there. These people always think they know what's best for you.

As expected there are more people getting involved in my predicament. Everyone wants to have a try at talking sense into me, or so it seems.

Okay... give it your best shot. That means you don't know me at all...

Staff Party

I was in meetings from 9:00 am through to 5:00 pm today. Then I attended my first staff party here. I was spared from giving a speech. I have never liked giving speeches especially when I have no good news to announce and the committee was in agreement with me that speeches were boring. I thought I could enjoy the party along with the two other hotel managers and the big boss but when you get something (I was spared of the speech) you have to give something. The two managers and I had to be the judges for the performances and karaoke contest. So, we were stuck at the judges tables for the most part of the night.

Then came the lucky draw… what luck! The big boss drew the numbers for the last few prizes which were (in order from the 3^rd) a 29” television, a washing machine and a Lenovo notebook.

When the boss drew the name for the grand prize, I saw the look on his face. I knew it belonged to someone from Excom or it was at least a HOD. He then looked at the crowd and joked… disqualified, he said…. Then he read out the department… Executive Office… Botak… I exclaimed to myself, FUCK!!!!! I then raised my hand and motioned a redraw, I had to… I am the Hotel Manager… then the boss asked in confirmation, redraw? I nodded Yes… he then said, sure? I nodded again. The crowd cheered and clapped while I swore away… anyway, it was a RM2099 notebook, meaning it was definitely under-spec-ed…

After that I became something like the Ronald McDonald mascot that you find at the McDonalds where everyone would go and snap pictures with the mascot. I stood in the foyer for about 20 minutes while everyone requested to have a picture with the botak…

The party ended early. Somehow they weren't into dancing...

A Reminder...

Today I sent a reminder e-mail of the discussion I had on Christmas Day. It wasn't received too well. It was necessary as I wanted it to be crystal clear that I was not fooling around...

Anyway, this is just the beginning of a very long proceeding...

The Year Ahead...

You had experienced a lot changes last year in terms of love relationship, living environment or career. If you have moved home or changed your job, such changes are settled and you might just work with them. If you got married or if you or your wife got pregnant, there’s nothing to worry about either because these are joyful events after all. However, if you broke up last year, you should put yourself together as soon as possible. If you didn’t break up and you don’t have plans to get married in the near future, then you really should try hard to pamper and reinforce your love for each other. It’s because in the first six months of 2008, you are still under the influence of your luck from last year. That means you are still very likely to break up even though your relationship survived in 2007. Of course, if the two of you are giving up or are on the verge of separation, there is really not much you can do.

Besides, the Pigs would have chances to learn or to invest this year. You should feel free to take any opportunity you consider viable. Those born in summer and spring who haven’t started their new career venture yet should really take the chances this year. If you don’t start this year, it would be too late. It’s because you are still under the influence of your offence against the energy last year in the first half of 2008. During those months, your unstable emotions would stop you from making the right decisions. You have to wait at least until Lunar May when such influence is fading away, before you can judge things properly. But then your good luck would only last till the end of 2009. Thus, if you don’t get it going this year, you may not be getting your return before your luck wanes again.

All Pigs are likely to travel more often, either on business or for leisure.

You are likely to lose some personal belongings, such as wallet, mobile phones or keys etc. you should especially pay attention to your mobile phone. It’s not such as big deal to lose the phone perhaps, but you don’t want to lose your friend’s the contact numbers.

Merry Christmas???

Or not?

What’s so merry about Christmas?

We’re supposed to make people happy on Christmas Day but me, no… what did I do? I broke someone’s heart. Someone who’s been dear to me for the past 13 years. Then I put her on a bus back home feeling all alone and that her whole world has just crumbled on her.

What an asshole I am… who would have thought that I’d do such a thing? No… botak? The people person? The one who always puts others before himself? No way…

Yes way…

Oh, for the record... it was not premeditated...

Weight Change

Before I came here... I weighed 85 kgs with a body fat percentage of 23.5%. My muscle mass was about 59 kgs. My waistline was at 35.5 inches. My arms measured slightly above 14.5 inches, flexed.

As of today, my weight is now at 75 kgs with a body fat percentage of 19.5%. My muscle mass is now at 57.5 kgs and my waistline now at 33 inches. My arms now measure slightly below 14.5 inches, flexed.

That’s a total of 10 kgs in 11 weeks. I didn't lose much muscle mass considering the amount of weight that I lost which was mostly fat.

Time to change the diet plan and to intensify the workouts. Time to get really lean...

When I saw the boys and girls today they noticed that I had lost weight and they said that I look good. Now, I don't know about that... coz I have been told by someone else that I look haggard now.

Anyway, it is my plan and I am sticking to it...

And as I always tell the boys and girls... it is all in your mind. It's about will power. And as 'auntie' always say, it is not boleh atau tak boleh... nak atau tak nak...

And obviously, I nak... and it was to prove a point. Not everyone who gets transferred to this brand name gets fat! I am the exception and I intend to stay that way.

Stranded...

It’s a Sunday morning and I’m stuck here as the highway is closed due to the floods. Here I am sitting in Starbucks at 11:45am with my notebook, been here since 11:00am. There’s only me and one other guy sitting here since 11:00am. And this is the only Starbuck’s in this town. Yes, believe it!

I came over to the Berjaya Mega Mall as I needed to drop my car off for a proper detailing job. I parked my car at the Hyatt’s car park early this week and my car got some tree sap or rust, (I don’t know) on it. I dropped the car off at 10:30am. It was still early so I decided to check out the PC fair. I noticed the banners on the road sides so I got a cab and just said, Plaza Gambut please. It took us 3 minutes to get there. And it cost me RM6.00. Yes, no meter and since I'm not a local boy I just shut my mouth, paid and got off. I entered the building... I almost fainted. PC Fair, my ass!! There were only 3 booths and it was basically PCs for sale… mostly second hand PCs. What a waste of my time and money. So, I walked back to Berjaya Mega Mall and it took me only about 15 minutes.

So, here I am having my iced latte and chatting with the only one friend who’s online in Skype. I recently realised that I do not have many friends indeed and that is probably why I feel so lonely everyday.

Sigh!

There are very few regrets in my life… in fact there was only one and up until now, two…

One… getting myself in Azkhaban.

Two… taking this damned job and leaving my crew behind.

But as I always say to my boys and girls… life is about choices. We make our choice and we live with our choice or we make another choice. We’ll never know whether the choice will be right or wrong. If we knew then life would be so simple and we would be living in a very peaceful world.

I guess I’ll go decide what to have for lunch now. Then probably look for a magazine and some DVDs and head back to my dreaded room…

C'est la vie…

The Witwicky Motto

No sacrifice, no victories. That’s from Transformers if you didn’t know.

True. But when you look back and ask yourself. Is the sacrifice worth it? Was sacrificing the well-being of about 70 persons worth the victory of 1? OR let’s look at it from a different perspective… were they pampered and were they becoming like Proton? Hmmm… good question don’t you think? To each his own… an opinion is like an asshole, everyone has one and some really stink.

So, I guess the answer to the paragraph above is relative.

I have been called many things in my lifetime. Campur, kacukkan, panjang, anakanda, cibai-face, muka ketat and recently my self-claimed botak. I am botak so it gives me the right to my self-claim. Through the years I have heard the same comments over and over again. When I first met you I thought you were the most stuck-up and arrogant person ever. Ok… tell me something I don’t know. The question now is… Am I really?

Thankfully, over these same years I have made many friends. Many true friends indeed. Some have asked me what the secret is. And I have also been asked how I managed to keep my department together through the years. Yes, a 70-strong team excluding the extras (Banglas lah). It’s no secret… and neither can it be taught. This is what I have always responded. Some think I am selfish. I am not. I am being truthful. It cannot be taught. You either have it in you or you don’t. How can that be they ask?

You gotta have heart, miles and miles of heart. And this, my friends… is a caption from the movie The Replacements. Go get this movie and watch it boys and girls. It stars Keanu Reeves and Gene Hackman. You’ve got to care… GENUINELY. The Malays say…kena ikhlas. Can this be taught? You can fake it… but I tell you… when you fake it, they can smell you a mile away. And nothing is more insulting than fakers.

Our religions teach us this… Do onto others what we want others to do onto us. And NOT do onto others what we do not want others to do onto us.

How did I ever become like this? I wonder too. First of all… I am a thinker. I think a lot and in most cases, if not all… I think of others. I try putting myself in their position. Secondly as my naughty girls eloquently put it, I like to ask questions. Questions that help me ascertain the many things of an individual. What moves them? What do they think? How do they think? What are their expectations? Etc.

Anyway, it all boils down to caring...

Apa yang saya membebel ni? Gee… I don’t know. It’s my diary so I don’t give a shit. It’s just my ramblings.